EVERY COACHELLA 2016 BAND REVIEWED WITH SNARK AND BREVITY

Though it's my own objective opinion, I'm right. Trust me. Here they are, and in alphabetical order, with a star-rating where appropriate (no stars = forgettable):

AC Slater - pedestrian House music
Adam Beyer - ambient beat repetition
Alessia Cara - over-emotive dime-a-dozen lady soul-pop
Algiers - political post-electro punk (***)
Alunageorge - cutesy electro-soul (***)
Alvvays - lady jangle-pop (****)
Amine Edge & Dance - repeated sample House music
Anderson.Paak - imaginative retro-funk hip-hop (****)
The Arcs - neo-psychedelic roots rock starring Dan Auerbach (****)
Autolux - revamped ponderous quasi-shoegaze
Baauer - non-starter trap crap
Badbadnotgood - organic kid jazz spaceout with Flying Lotus as a fan (****)
Bat For Lashes - avant-garde ice queen (***)
BORNS - glammy electro-pop (****)
Beach House - Ethereal dream-jangle with better early albums (***)
Black Coffee - vibey, palm tree, up-with-people, soul DJ (***)
The Black Madonna - melodic forgettable EDM
Bob Moses - long-winded mopey MOR Starbucks techno
Calvin Harris - pulse-quickening rave maestro who keeps finding T-Swift's hair in his suitcase (****)
Carla Morison - Spanish weepy torch singer Adele wannabe
Cassy - beat-centric repetitive House music
The Chainsmokers - more fucking mellow electro
Chris Stapleton - unlike Sturgill Simpson, actual sentimental country pap
Christin & Queens - French female version of Perfume Genius
Chronixx - neo-dub reggae (***)
Chvrches - one-note, over-emotive, overrated, anthemic pop-wave nonsense
Claptone - sensitive electro-pop man-child
Cloves - elegaic vocally-affected lady soundtrack music (***)
Cold War Kids - corporate-sounding over-produced anthem rock with good hooks (***)
Courtney Barnett - tuneless rock chick with great rapid-fire lyrics (****)
Crystal Fighters - upbeat hippie tribal hackeysack wincing earnestness (***)
The Damned - old school Goth punk here to show kids how it's done (*****)
De Lux - post-punk infectious grooves with vocal dead-ringer for David Byrne (****)
The Dead Ships - self-conscious garage rock (****)
Deafheaven - the only representative of symphonic black metal this year (****)
Death Grips - sneering violent hip-hop intensity mocks palm trees
Deerhunter - lo-fi hipster glam with a history of hooks (****)
Disclosure - world class techno-pop (***)
DMA's - post-punk power-pop with an emo-core center (****)
Edward Sharpe & Magnetic Zeros - neo-hippie mid-tempo freakout (***)
Ellie Goulding - ethereal, postured, pop songstress
Epik High - Korean emo-pop-punk
Ex-Hex - lady rock riffing, essentially The Donnas-lite (****)
Flume - trap conformity with ubiquitous guest vocalists
Foals - epic drama-rock (****)
Frances - sob-worthy as Adele's old boyfriend pillow
The Front Bottoms - over-enunciated Verizon Amphitheater rock
Fur Coat - bland as bathwater House anti-revival
Gallant - slow-ass sex jams for virgins
Gary Clark Jr - guitar god still building his throne (****)
George Fitzgerald - pedestrian Sahara tent automation
Girlpool - low-fi atonal indie-girl posturing for college freshmen
GoGo Penguin - pensive authentic classical jazz (****)
Goldroom - decent rave-shit with guest vocalists (***)
Grimes - compelling weirdo astral avant-pop lady (****)
Guns N Roses - the oxymoron of being both non-lethal and old smelling despite their name
Halsey - another blanket-clutching slow-ass crybaby
Haelos - boring trip-hop with female whining
HEALTH - aggro-techno, like if NIN and The Big Pink had a baby (***)
The Heavy - retro-soul grandpa with tight band and minimal range (***)
Hudson Mohawk - majestic and varied dubstep trap (****)
Ibeyi - mid-tempo melodrama with typewriter beats for kokopellis
Ida Engberg - overlong extended trance remixes
Jack U - dubtrap supergroup falling short of greatness (***)
James Bay - bring a sleeping bag for the Lunesta vibe, and earplugs for his voice
Joey Bada$$ - boasty forgettable rap shit
John Digweed - trancey housey name-brand electro
Joywave - not too shabby budget Hot Chip (***)
Justin Martin - upbeat sun-splashed electro (***)
Kamasi Washington - cosmic longform jazz aka the real deal (****)
The Kills - razorblade guitar distortion duo with sneering lady vox (***)
KSHMR - diverting ethno-techno (***)
Lapsley - more Adele-inspired tear-stained tissue pop
The Last Shadow Puppets - neo-noir 1960s Britpop w/ Arctic Monkeys frontman (****)
LCD Soundsystem - un-retired indie-dance darling with undeniable hookage (*****)
Lemaitre - top shelf dubtrap with special guests (****)
Lido - continuously-sampled voice-modulated trap flavor-of-the-week (***)
Lord Huron - indie folk epics for pensive Voltaire long-hairs (****)
Lost Frequencies - mellow DJ, enough said
Louis The Child - genre-hopping electro-technician with a few tricks (***)
Lush - upbeat 90s lady-led shoegaze reunion (****)
M83 - bedroom studio to arena, drama-queen new-wavers (****)
Maceoplex - cold impenetrable tiresome House music
Major Lazer - beat-hopping spider with multiple house-party guests (*****)
Mano Le Tough - sleepytime chamomile techno from a distant tent
Marco Carola - is merely another DJ
Matoma - pop techno where all the songs are sad about something
Matt & Kim - nursery rhyme indie chant-pop (***)
Matthew Dear - dark trance with a humid Amazonian vibe (***)
Mavis Staples - soul grandma with killer pipes who loves her Jesus (***)
Mbongwana Star - wheelchair-bound Congolese minimalist groove-crafter (***)
Meg Meyers - more teen diary drama, overwrought vocals, and an album actually called "Sorry"
Melody's Echo Chamber - ghostly psychedelic Franco-pop (****)
Miami Horror - poolside chillout disco (****)
Miike Snow - slick indie synth pop (***)
Mint Field - Spanish Goth rock with senorita singer (***)
Moon Taxi - sentimental commercialized indie with a great name
Mr. Cormack - home studio remixing stuck in a soundcloud
Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats - retro-grooving bear on a dusty porch (****)
Nic Fanciuli - indistinguishable House repetition
Nicole Moudaber - spooky industrial extended plays
Nina Kraviz - euro-cool electro-pop singer/DJ (***)
Nina Las Vegas - twiddling knobs and trying to remember where the car's parked
Nora En Pure - chillwave vibes for beach gazebos (***)
Nosaj Thing - lugubrious indie hip-hop for the fedora set
Of Monsters & Men - blandness with epic aspirations
Parov Stelar - EDM for flappers and ragtime liquor salesmen (***)
Pete Yorn - past-his-heyday emo-folkie
Phases - Bouncy 80s-retro Tron-pop with femme vox (***)
Prayers - darkwave electro-Cholos
Protoje - neo-reggae toasting to your dirty espadrilles (***)
Purity Ring - stadium-ready lady drama for budding Jon Green readers
Rae Sremmurd - upstart chest-puffing boy rappers with mad hooks (***)
Rancid - 90s ska punkers with one good album (***)
Rufus Du Sol - pedestrian cabana tunes for after hours lounging
Rhye - yet another girl with eyelash boogers from crying so hard
RL Grime - welcome music for cities built by machines for machines (***)
Robert DeLong - indie singer/songwriter winking at his irrelevance
Run The Jewels - industry-standard dorm room hip-hop with Bernie supporter Killer Mike
Sam Feldt - will be sitting unrecognizable with other DJs on the shuttle bus
Sasha - will also be there saying, "But, hello, I'm Sasha".
Savages - sexy butch noise rock for dimly-lit frottage parties (****)
SG Lewis - just another number called at the DMV of heartbroken emo-electro
Shamir - foppish rapping Urkel
Sheer Mag - lo-fi garage rock fronted by your friend's hard-partying sister (****)
SIA - hook-tossing pop singer in indie clothing, but it's a spectacular wardrobe (****)
Silversun Pickups - are picking up where Smashing Pumpkins left off (***)
Skepta - mid-tempo grime rapper with obligatory guest singers
Skin - 90s hair band from Obsoleteville
SNAILS - off-the-hook fatty dubstep delivering sub-woofer incontinence (***)
Snakehips - filed along with many others under "mid-tempo EDM with vocals"
SOPHIE - rubbery industrial avant-pop strangeness (***)
Soul Clap - someone who plays funk, but I mean "plays" it on a turntable or iPod
Steady Holiday - noirish cinematic female with nice flourishes (****)
St. Germain - head-bopping low-key ethnocentric pastiche
Strangers You Know - Ambien-soaked crybaby pretty boys
Sufjan Stevens - legendary quasi-religious folkie with a warm sleeping bag (****)
Swarvy - sample-laden sunny DJ good times (***)
SZA - didn't realize how many other women were weeping on their drum machines
Tchami - read the memo about mellow EDM crap and signed up
Tei Chi - eerie lady vox soundscapes
Tensnake - funky dance man for dancing funky and just letting go, man (***)
The 1975 - slinky hormonal pop boy band named a decade too early (***)
Thomas Jack - more electro-emotional DJ-ing where dancing isn't expected
Tokimonsta - lady touches machine and chill music comes out
Underworld - reunited 90s industrial band hopes you saw "Trainspotting"
Unknown Mortal Orchestra - psychedelic think-funk ascension (****)
The Vandals - beer punk for 80s skaters
Vanic - add tepid pop to trap, which is just slowed-down dance music
Vince Staples - rapper with dragged-down tempos and more n-words than "Hateful Eight"
Volbeat - budget Queens Of The Stone Age for karaoke bros
Wolf Alice - clever female-fronted indie rock with a bagful of nuance (****)
Years & Years - boy pop marketed for tween brains
Young Fathers - thought-provoking blend of post-rock and hip-hop (****)
Zedd - panoramic EDM with wild impulses (***)
Zella Day - electro chanteuse with a photogenic face
ZHU - moody electro-soul-pop with falsetto vocals

My Favorite Movies of 2015

As I do every year, I'm complaining about one-word or vague titles. I'll never understand how a film can experience any longevity or repeat viewings with titles like: True Story, Joy, Spy, Max, Room, Legend, Sisters, The Intern, The Gift, The Walk, The Visit, etc.

Anyway...

1. Mad Max: Fury Road

2. The Revenant

3. Room

4. Love & Mercy

5. Ex Machina

6. Diary Of A Teenage Girl

7. Sicario

8. Brooklyn

9. Goodnight Mommy

10. What We Do In Shadows

11. The Martian

12. Spotlight

13. The Gift

14. End Of Tour

15. Steve Jobs

16. Phoenix

17. The Walk

18. Tangerine

19. Trainwreck

20. The Big Short

21. Ant Man

Coachella 2016: The Small Print

Each year I celebrate the bands at the bottom of the Coachella poster instead of the headliners. Here are my favorite videos by some of the underdogs.

2015 Neo-Psychedelic Bands (Music Videos and Playlist)

Hopefully I can continue to find these up-and-coming bands that play my favorite type of music -- retro psychedelia. A few on this playlist were released in 2014, but I'm only just finding them now, and I want every one to get the exposure they deserve. Most of the videos are amazing as well.

A written list is below the video embed for your downloading pleasure. Also, if you find anything I missed that you feel should be included, message me and I'll consider it. Have fun!



2015 Neo-Psychedelia by David Ray
1. The Arcs - Outta My Mind
2. Fogbound - Purple Wax
3. The Babe Rainbow - Secret Enchanted Broccoli Forest
4. Mystic Braves - Desert Island
5. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Cellophane
6. Tame Impala - Let It Happen
7. Wand - Flying Golem
8. Magnetic Mind - The Mumbai Butterfly
9. My Drunken Haze - Carol Wait
10. Deerhunter - Snakeskin
11. Mr. Elevator & The Brain Hotel - Don't Hold Back
12. Pond - Zond
13. Jackson Boone - Moonbeam
14. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Paper Mache Dream Balloon
15. Jacco Gardner - Find Yourself
16. Valet - Lion
17. Enormous Forces - Psychedelic Sauna
18. Fever The Ghost - Source
19. Apache Sun - Silhouettes
20. Dungen - Akt Dit
21. Jackson Boone - Starlit Hymn

Winter Indie Music Playlist 2015

Well, it's not winter yet, but I'm sure everyone could use a break from the heat. Mellow music is easier to find anyway. Here's some good stuff to help you daydream about the reddening of leaves, chimney smoke, snowflakes and all the layers we'll pull on and peel off every day. Enjoy this mix, and let it take you where it wants to. The list is written below.



Winter Indie Music Playlist 2015
1. Tame Impala - I'm A Man
2. Leyya - Superego
3. Porcelain Raft - All In My Head
4. SOAK - Sea Creatures
5. Tanlines - Invisible Ways
6. Actor - Feline
7. Great Lake Swimmers - Zero In The City
8. The Arcs - Stay In My Corner
9. Caitlin Park - Wake Up In A Whirr
10. Unknown Mortal Orchestra - Multi-love
11. Dan Mangan & Blacksmith - Vessel
12. The Weather Station - Way It Is, Way It Should Be
13. Other Lives - Easy Way Out
14. Cayucas - Dancing At The Blue Lagoon
15. Flo Morrissey - Sleeplessly Dreaming
16. Gaz Coombes - The Girl Who Fell To Earth
17. Swahili - Vestal
18. Wilco - Magnetized
19. Palehound - Dry Food
20. Mikal Cronin - Turn Around
21. RAC (ft. Katie Herzig) - We Belong

Summer Indie Music Playlist 2015

In the past few years it's taken me longer to put the summer mix together, because finding upbeat indie music has grown increasingly difficult. I sift through literally thousands of songs using BIRP, Rolling Stone, Spin, CMJ, online searches and YouTube playlists. After exhaustive research I'm starting to conclude that the majority of young indie musicians (and their listeners) can only express themselves through sad navel-gazing and wallowing in romantic depression. Admittedly, the technology that was supposed to bring us closer together has often only created vast chasms of distance between us; we're addicted to our phones and computers, scared to go to parties, afraid to reveal our true selves, terrified of ridicule and the dynamics of socialization. The fast music I find is usually neo-Punk Rock or Metal, and it's angry, not happy. Even Billboard's low-brow darlings of Pop, Rap, EDM and Country have slowed their beats down in some sort of corporate hypnosis. And yet there's so much to celebrate at this instant in time- an increasing awareness of equality for women, for oppressed races, for the LBGT community. If you focus on the positive it's a huge damn joyous party for progressive people in America right now, a dawning of a new era. But only if you stay focused on what's amazing about being alive. Don't let the conservatives of Elmore City (that's a "Footloose" reference) kill your buzz, my friends.

Here are ten questions I want you to ask yourself:
1. Was the last song I listened to slow or fast?
2. What was the tempo of the last song I heard on the radio?
3. Was the lyrical content of the last song I listened to happy or sad?
4. When I post songs or listen to songs posted on social media are they usually upbeat?
5. Am I sad or happy?
6. When invited to a social gathering do I usually reply "maybe"?
7. If I reply "yes", do I actually attend?
8. When was the last time I laughed?
9. When was the last time I danced?
10. What are my blessings, my joys, my reasons to celebrate?

This playlist is for you (and it's typed-out below):

SUMMER INDIE MUSIC PLAYLIST 2015
1. Braves Shores - Never Come Down
2. Mumford & Sons - The Wolf
3. Yumi Zouma - Catastrophe
4. Bop English - It Was Beyond Our Control
5. Twenty One Pilots - Tear In My Heart
6. Ader - Landshapes
7. Ash - Machinery (if watching on YouTube, change speed to 1.25 in settings)
8. eLLe beLLe - Knock On The Light (n/a on YouTube...yet)
9. The Derevolutions - Now You Know My Name
10. Leon Bridges - Better Man
11. Cheers Elephant - Airliner
12. Lady Lamb - Billions Of Eyes
13. Late Cambrian - Golden Time
14. Toro Y Moi - Run Baby Run
15. Lower Dens - Societe Anonyme
16. Ratatat - Cream On Chrome
17. LA Priest - Oino
18. Happy Hollows - Astrid
19. Painted Palms - Tracers
20. The Sonics - Sugaree (these guys are in their 70s, btw)
21. Von Sell - Ivan
22. Mew - Satellites

PUNK PLANK: Two-Minute Punk Songs Of The 1970s For Planking

Want amazing abs for summer? Ask yourself if you can do this one activity for a mere TWO MINUTES a day. Get into push-up position (or with your elbows resting on the floor for more balance), and play one of these motivating punk songs each morning for a month. It's okay if you shake all over. It's okay if you can only make it thirty seconds at a time before taking a five-second rest. Keep at it and your core will tighten and you'll start to see real definition. To make things easier I even started with songs that clock-in under two minutes. Toward the end they get a little longer, the longest being 2:10, but by then you'll be loving it.

Plus it's a free music history lesson. Here's the YouTube playlist and, below, you'll find the written version if you want to download the songs yourself. Happy planking!


1. Ramones - Let's Dance
2. Wire - Mr. Suit
3. The Adverts - Bored Teenagers
4. The Undertones - Male Model
5. Stiff Little Fingers - White Noise
6. Weirdos - Pagan
7. X-Ray Spex - I Am A Cliche
8. The Dils - You're Not Blank
9. The Damned - Fish
10. The Clash - Career Opportunities
11. Dead Kennedys - Stealing People's Mail
12. Richard Hell - New Pleasure
13. The Slits - Shoplifting
14. The Vibrators - Bad Time
15. The Germs - Lexicon Devil
16. The Buzzcocks - Orgasm Addict
17. The Dickies - Shake & Bake
18. Generation X - Kleenex
19. The Damned - I Fall
20. The Ramones - California Sun
21. The Rezillos - Glad All Over
22. Sham 69 - It's Never Too Late
23. The Clash - Janie Jones
24. The Skids - Six Times
25. The Avengers - American In Me
26. Richard Hell - Love Comes In Spurts
27. Generation X - Day By Day
28. Dead Boys - What Love Is
29. Wire - Straight Line/Field Day For The Sundays
30. The Undertones - Here Comes The Summer
31. The Damned - Melody Lee